dwayne.yawned

(7) Sugar a short story by nicholaiv An older man well into his 60s was sitting at an outdoor table in an old corner coffeeshop that faced a small but active intersection; it was one of those ancient coffeeshops that had been renovated a dozen times in its half-century of life but could not scrub itself clean of its original grime, which had sunk too deep into its foundation. A cane, presumably the old man's, was leaning against a chair that was pulled close to him.  Across from him was an empty and worn orange seat. A newspaper was laid on the table in front of him; a visible title in bold letters read: "42 Dead in Freak Fire Escape Collapse."  It was one of those interchangeable bright weekend mornings with the congenial peace brought on by the gentleness of its breezes and relative freedoms. Young couples hung off each other in self-conscious pride. Aerodynamic cyclists gathered their wits and bicycles on the grass. Toy dogs trotted along with territorial purpose on lo...

Symmetry is a cat  love triangle; Symmetry is the 23rd  of every month this year;  Symmetry is a third’s  seamless fit; Symmetry is that  formless bit so integrated it’s  non-existent.  Symmetry is Symmetry is Symmetry is dwayne.yawned  #poem

Note: Monglin = ML = My father.  Had a nice breakthrough conversation with ML and Kar tonight at the dinner table. He’s really been regaining some level of clarity and lucidity with the #FatFathervention and after losing weight.  Nowadays, he watches his meals, self weighs in and goes for walks with Michelle. There’s loads of encouragement all around and all it takes is a spark of conscious choice.  Kar, who is usually blackfacing him once he goes into an unconscious tirade about food, revealed today at the dinner table all the traumas he has inflicted on her childhood - including his raised voice causing PTSD when she sees intimidating people or when having to public speak, or incidents such as breaking into school in the middle of the night to retrieve a missing textbook after crying non stop and getting disciplined by him.. It was a moment of vulnerability and ML acknowledged it with an Asiaworks quote of “your parents love you, they just haven’t been taught how to do ...

Man is not affected by events;  He is affected by his perception of events.  Ego begets Ego  Lack begets lack;  She who throws others under the bus  gets thrown under the bus instead.  #stoicism #goldenrule

(6) Absolution  a short story by nicholaiv "Oy! Bot!" came a sharp voice from beyond the wall. I listened.   "Oy," the same voice came again, less confident.   Then an impulse, one I hadn't exprienced before, took hold of me and I spoke for the first time; it was as if the faculty was born for this moment. I cried, to perhaps more than just the man: "You've given me the power of speech!" My voice was strange, foreign, unpracticed, lilting where it should've remained sturdy, loud when a softer touch would've sufficed.   "My god, it's true," came the voice, hardly audible through the concrete. I imagined on his face the broadening of understanding giving way to an existential fear, then pity. Then with the impulsive hunger of someone starved of stimuli, he said: "What are you in for, bot?"   "They say murder," I said, growing confident in this new and wondrous power that I could now wield. "Do you believ...

 My Top 20 Rules:  Don’t Play on Tilt Manage Tilt  Limit Buy In Maximums Quit when ahead  Play tight, Play Patient  Value hands well  Don’t reveal too many cards  Be peaceful  Poker isn’t Life  Breathing Aim for above session average next benchmark  Conscious Poker  Everything can change in 1hr Wait for the right hands  People will make mistakes, myself included  Quit if total losses reach a certain limit Fold till Premium   Dollar Bets Don’t overvalue pockets, top pair Don’t chase unless equity worth  I guess a lot of these can find equivalents in daily life too.  #poker #badbeat #consciouspoker

(1) LUNCH BREAK - nicholaiv "Did you hear about the aliens?" said the mixed-brown YP ("young person" as designated by the System) from the back of the break room, his voice cut by the pubescent whine that sounds the same in every language and you could just imagine how red he'd gotten and his rot-toothed smile. "Shut up lah!" came the hawing dismissal, and then the cackle and hooting of hamandras circling for the kill, all bluster and brotherhood, hid the intrigue of the statement and brought us all back to the inside where the existential threat of aliens could not meet the existential dread of another godforsaken plate of sardines for lunch. The morning session of kitchen duty dragged its dirty dead legs along like a dying cockroach and I felt fragile after my spigot and bucket shower, but one of the Chinese Chess daddies was seated cross-legged at a table looking for a boy to school, and that got my daddy issues athumping, so I grabbed the Chinese c...

“No Song For You Tonight”  by dwayneyawned  There’s no song  for you tonight  You’ve been a bad  sloppy boi  Leaving trails of misinformation  bubbling and boiling  There’s no song  for you tonight  You’ve been a bad  husband lover son  Making your hearts go  on a wild goose chase  it’s not very fun  Wherever will the visa take me?  Whenever will my visa come?  Whenever, wherever  We’re meant to be together  Just seems like it might  be a year later and then some  There’s no song  for you tonight  The only ones singing are the sad lost lonely souls  Crooning a tune  of forlorn wistfulness  of technology (hey) and bureaucracy  gone cruel and cold.. #poem #immigration #separation

El Pajarito de Abuela by nicholaiv He awoke to the quickly fading umbre of a sad dream. His eyesockets had filled with tears and had become little saltwater pools and his vision swam and the sparsely lit darkness that awaited him was like he'd fallen into another dream. But a sharp sensation, unlike the sensuality woven by the numbed senses of a dreaming mind, pricked at his chest, and he bent his chin forward, which emptied the small pools of tears down his puffy cheeks, and blinked the world into focus.  There in the bony valley formed over the solar plexus, warming itself with the mounds of his breast, sat a little pale Parakeet.   Recognition was gradual, as is common of the waking moments after a gentle dream, and in the halo of melancholy and hallucination, a supernatural tenderness gripped his heart; he recognized in the bird's expressive eyes, softly lidded, the same look his Abuelita used to give him; he had memories of when she'd hold his cheeks in her warm fleshy...

Conspicuously Absent by dwayneyawned My tigger, my hobbes,  my sweet radish,  my purple rain,  my glorious chu,  my infernal beating heart,  my parallel reflection  my perpendicular  the soft pulsing glow  of your kindly fullsome embrace  my dinky pinky  my velvety snow  my coat when the world is cold  my snugglebun when the road  is a rough, dark, inky tuft  my diarrhea eyes  my softness disguised  in your gaze  I languish  in your chase  I flourish  only to lose myself  in the silent present  that has you  conspicuously absent. #poem #love #longing